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| It is my greatest desire in life to be a witness of God's Love to those around me. A task which I at times fail at miserably. And failing in this is often one of my greatest sources of depression. I want so desperately to see the people that I so intensely love in heaven. But I know that I am powerless to do much when it is a choice that each person must make on their own. I find my attempts at witnessing futile; but yesterday I did have the chance to be a witness. A chance to witness the Holy Spirit and God working, in a way that only they could. It was one of the most beautiful things that I have seen in a long time and an incredibly uplifting experience for me. Yesterday, through a set of circumstances that only God could have coordinated, I met a fellow Seventh Day Adventist who didn't know anything about the Adventist churches in this area. The joy and hunger he demonstrated upon finding a connection with the Adventist church was so intense, I could clearly see that it was fueled by the Holy Spirit. There have been few times in my life that I have clearly seen God's presence working; but this was definitely one of them. And having this chance to witness the intensity of the power of the Holy Spirit working in someone's life was a true joy. One that he experienced outwardly by the excitement that he radiated at being reconnected with the Adventist Church. One that I experienced quietly as intensely fulfilling emotion welled up within my chest. It was a connection to God's working that blessed me tremendously and encouraged me greatly in my relationship with Him. | | |
| I know that it is true that people almost never change. And that fact has been proven to me, more times than I can count. However, I don't understand why so many people deny the fact that it is possible for someone to change. I am almost beginning to wonder if this is the leading cause in the idea that "people never change". Seeing as that it is hard enough to truly change; without the rest of the world deciding that they won't even give you the opportunity to change. Besides, by enclosing individuals in these types of boxes, it would seem to me that we are denying God's ability to work in the lives of the people He has created. As for me, I prefer to keep giving people the opportunity to have bettered themselves, even if it does ultimately bring me pain. | | |
| I just had to post this . . . because its had me chuckling for days. After getting back from Ecuador, I'm now a little darker than I once was. Something about being so close to the equator . . . your skin gets tanner real quick. Lol. Nothing too unordinary (at least not to the normal observer). I was working one night at the restaurant however when my friend's 3 year old daughter spotted me. Upon first sight, the words out of her mouth were "Mommy, why is Christina so dirty?" I guess that tans aren't all that they are hyped up to be! Lol. | | |
| I'm back from my trip to Ecuador. It was an awesome experience! (As Ultimate Workout always is!) Its always great being with a group of people who are all focusing on God and constantly putting priority on Him, our relationships with Him, and on showing His love to those that we came into contact with. The beauty of Ultimate Workout (http://www.ultimateworkout.org/) for me, is seeing so many people with different talents and various backgrounds coming together to show God's love. It is something so powerful that truly reminds me of what Jesus' life on earth must have been like. Only I'm sure that all of our efforts combined . . .pale in comparison to the ministry of service that was His. Still . . . it's the closest comparison that I've experienced. Being in such an environment was definitely a real encouragement to me spiritually. It was awesome seeing the lives that Christ changed there. And now I only pray for myself and everyone else returning . . . that we don't let any distractions here, pull us away from the closeness to God that we felt and experience while we were there. The joy that I saw in the eyes of those who were changed was absolutely amazing! And I pray that our relationships with God will stay strong! | | |
| I had another interview for my art today (which is great). The thing that is not great . . . is that I have not been producing. Sometimes its hard to find the time to work on my art. Other times I have the time; but when I'm home by myself, I feel lonely and find it extremely difficult to muster the motivation to paint. This feeling of loneliness is increasingly becoming a problem. I know many people and I have many friends (you might say); but sometimes I feel like I lack time with people whom I can really connect with. But if I am trying to find the time to work on my art . . . I can't be putting time into such friendships anyways. And thus I find myself falling into a conundrum seemingly without answer. Even during my time in the University I knew that people and my interactions with them would have a priority over my art. But my art is important, too . . . and I need to find the will somewhere to keep working on my painting, despite everything else that is trying to pull my soul down. | | |
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